21 . 08 . 2025
Yes, it’s Happy New Year to me!
“But, it’s not the new year,” you say.
It is for me.
I decided a while ago – and by “a while,” I mean about eighteen years – that my new year starts on my birthday.
That’s when I came out screaming, and the doctor tied a sad knot for a bellybutton that my brother would later say looked like a weiner. Yes, I cried and, don’t worry, it’s not as bad now…
It’s when I started my trips around the sun.
As such, I started a tradition of treating it like most folks treat New Years. No, I don’t get boozed up and start kissing people at midnight (anymore), but I do have two things that I strive to do every year.
Thing One – A Resolution
For me, this has nothing to do with what I’m going to eat, or trying to workout more often. It really is more of an intention – the more concise and open, the better.
My first year I chose the word Fearless.
Not the kind of fearless that makes people jump out of planes or climb mountains… It was more like a reset for how I was approaching opportunities to learn and do new things.
I had grown up in a household where the default was “no.” So much so that I expected a “no” even before I asked, and I pretty much stopped asking for anything – from anyone.
I stopped living at home essentially by the age of nineteen, so it seems like the “no” habit should have been left in the past, but a funny thing had happened – not only had I trained myself not to ask for anything, but I had become an expert at “no.”
My default had become “that’s not possible,” and I was really good at making it look like a rational choice, saying “I can’t do it, because…” I was adept at making great excuses for why I shouldn’t do many things.
I was so good at it that I believed the excuses I told myself.
Truth is, I was actually scared to try. Frozen with fear.
So, my year of Fearless basically meant saying “yes” as often as possible.
When an opportunity offered itself and I started making up a story for why I couldn’t do it in my head, I would instead ask myself, “why not?”
How did that turn out for me…?
I was thirty-one, and when a friend invited me to go up to the mountain and take snowboard lessons with a group of folks, I said yes.
That’s how I started snowboarding, and I’m looking forward to doing it in French this year – yikes!
One evening about a month later, I was sitting around having a pity party about how so many folks could afford to travel around the world, and I, with a great job and paid vacation, had never been anywhere further than Canada and Mexico… The voice in my head said, “have you ever even looked at plane tickets???”
I hadn’t…
Three months later a friend and I were in Belize busing to the ruins in Guatemala with a tour guide we’d met on the beach. To this day we both hold that trip at the top of the list of amazing vacations.
I also went to France for the first time the following fall.
The fact is, the whole year was just so good! I made some of my best friends that year – instead of shying away when they invited me to do things, I said sure!
They’re still friends to this day…
Another year I chose sois toi-même (be yourself), which I got tattooed on my wrist. I’ve repeated that one a couple of times.
The point is, the practice has served me well over the past almost twenty years…
Magnificent
This year – Magnificent!
It came to me without any effort, so I know it’s a good one. But what on earth do I mean by it?
Well, first of all, it’s an extension of sois toi-même. It’s not just about being myself, but I want to remember this year that I am magnificent. That there is no one else like me, and I don’t need to try to be anyone else.
It so happens that I went to therapy for the first time when I was pursuing my PhD. Those who’ve done that route will likely understand this, but that’s a different blog post…
The thing is, somewhere around session three, when I was saying I just wanted to blend in, I got the truth (that I’d already known, but had been fighting) handed to me: “You’re never going to blend in. There is no box for you.”
See, I didn’t want to be hyper-visible when I entered a room, when I walked down the street, whenever I opened my mouth. I didn’t want to be subject to all that comes with not being able to fade into the background.
My therapist said it with compassion and understanding, and I needed to hear it so I could stop tying myself in a knot trying to do something that was not possible for me. I always joke that I’m a Great Dane that thinks it’s a Chihuahua… It’s not happening, I just need to be a Great Dane.
I love Great Danes!
So I guess that’s what I’m doing now.
This brings me to my second tradition, which aligns perfectly with this year’s resolution.
Thing Two – Celebrate Others
For me, the new year is about surrounding myself with those who have been on the journey with me, as well as those I want with me through the next year. It’s so fun to do a dinner, or some form of public humiliation (like a scavenger hunt) to bring folks together and just enjoy how much better our lives are with each other in them.
This is fitting, because I feel especially magnificent when someone tells me, “your friends are really awesome.” It’s been said a lot and, yes, I am bragging about it.
I may be far away from pretty much everyone who’s been with me on the rollercoaster that the past year was (past several years were), but I can still tell folks how magnificent they are.
To help me with this, I turn to the official definition…
magnificent
/maɡˈnɪfɪs(ə)nt/
adjective
1. extremely beautiful, elaborate, or impressive.
2. very good; excellent.
See Also: impressive, wonderful, awesome, dazzling
You.
Yes, You…
You are So Magnificent.
Have you ever put together an epic puzzle, like at least 1,000 pieces?
Have you gotten to the end only to find that a piece was missing?
Maybe, like me, you looked everywhere for that damn piece, because even if 999 were in their place, the puzzle was just not complete without all of the pieces being where they were meant to be.
I’ll admit that I’ve also jammed one in that pretty much seemed like it fit where I’d put it (don’t pretend like you’ve never done this), but I eventually had to admit it actually went somewhere else…
Either way, without all of the pieces in their right place, it’s like you might as well not have even put the puzzle together.
You’re that puzzle piece!
You, as you, have something that only you can bring to the picture. Unapologetically, without arrogance, no permission required, you are the only one that can be whatever it is that you are.
How is one little puzzle piece magnificent?
Didn’t I just tell you I’ll wreck a home to find a missing piece???
Consider how you feel when you find that piece and put it in the finished puzzle….
The thing is, I don’t want folks around because they’re just like me – I have me for that.
I like you when you’re being you. I see you when you’re just doing you and you aren’t really thinking about whether someone is watching. I like you the absolute best in those moments – when you’re in your zone, when you’re lit up, even when you admit that you’re hurting and lost – the you that picks your nose…
In all of this, you are so magnificent.
Something just isn’t right when you’re not bringing your particular shape and pattern to the bigger picture – just lying in a dustbunny under the couch or crammed into the wrong spot.
So, in remembering that there is a spot that only I can fill – not blend, but fit – I’m going to be celebrating you for the same this year!
Yeah, I know this is all really cheesy, but it’s my new year and my blog – I do what I want.
7 Responses
I like the idea of being magnificent because you had a birthday. 🙂 Hope it’s a great one. And Happy New Year! May it be as magnificent as you and all of your friends are!
You are magnificent, amazing, beautiful and inspirational. You have come so far from the lil girl in that class picture who followed me around and annoyed me, to this incredibly smart driven woman who has overcome so much in the journey to becoming who you are today. I am so very proud of you sister. Happy New Year!
Love you
Brother
You were the coolest – I had to follow you around. Love you Brother 🤗
Happy Birthday to you, Alisha! Loved reading your blog. I’m glad you chose to ‘be yourself’ since everyone else is taken.
Love you for you!! Happy New Year my magnificent friend.
Lovely Alisha! I just got goosebumps! Let me start by saying, you are an absolutely amazing writer. I don’t know if this is a part of your day-to-day gig or just a side hustle, but you’ve got a gift girl!
One of my earliest memories of you was you and a boy on a playground, he was saying something unkind to you, and you responded in such a strong and sure way, that I knew right then and there that I had to be your friend. I know there are aspects of your childhood that were challenging, but through it all I’ve always seen you as that strong girl. I am so glad this fearless, very much magnificent YOU has come to shine! Is it okay for me to share this with Mom? She’d love it 😀💗
Sara – my first best friend – thank you! Please share it with your mom, and send her my love 🙂