23. 09. 2026
Everything I Do Gohn Be Funky (From Now On)
It’s my new year again… Or, at least, it was last month. That means the time has come, and passed to lock in on my mantra for the year.
For a quick recap, I treat my birthday as my own new year, since it marks another year of me out here hurtling around the sun on this giant ball of dirt and water. As such, I set a focus each year at this time.
This year was pretty easy, it came to me clearly.
FUELED BY JOY
It actually started as “Fueled by joy and coffee,” but I felt like that was a bit redundant, so I shortened it.
Joy as Wonder
In the first sense, I just want more Joy in my life.
What does that look like?
Well, I mean it as more than another way to say “happiness,” it’s more like a way of being in the world.
Let me try to get at this the way it has revealed itself to me recently…
The other day I was listening to a podcast on my way to the grocery store. Just before I went into the store, the guest simply said, “we take our hands for granted.”
He was on for over an hour, but that one little statement was what stuck with me.
We take our hands for granted.
It caught my attention because I realized it’s so true. I tried to think about my hands – how they feel, what they do for me everyday. They are helping me write this right now. I’m good at catching things with these hands. I draw with them.
Anyway, there I was, pondering the strange things at the end of my taken-for-granted arms as I walked into the cheese section, discretely flexing and unflexing my fingers ala 2005 Mr. Darcy (IYKYK).
It made me think back to the first time I’d walked into this particular store, how in awe I was of the immense dairy aisle, the fish selection, the produce. I remembered the giddiness I felt in reading all of the French labels, in navigating three whole aisles of yogurt. I thought about my surprise that almost every cereal in the breakfast aisle has chocolate in it.
I recalled the apprehension and sense of accomplishment I felt in making it through the checkout the first time. Signing up for the store rewards card, with the cashier in French, felt like some kind of huge accomplishment – I’m pretty sure I showed that card to at least a few people.
I considered all of this as I was dodging idling little old ladies, racing from wine to toilet paper – the essentials. It made me stop. Slow down… and look around me, the way I did in those early days.
It made me want to recapture the sense of awe and wonder I initially found when I first did what, over time, has just become an assumed part of my life.
Like a child.
Think about when you were a kid and how it felt when you did something for the first time, or even the anticipation you felt getting ready to do something. I used to go to sleep-away camp every summer – I absolutely could not sleep the night before out of excitement for how fun it would be! Years later I became a camp counselor, and I can say that it brought me just as much joy as being a camper did.
Back then, there was no comparison to something else, or estimation of what was lacking – these moments just felt good in themselves.
I want that back.
That feeling of wonder.
That feeling of well-being right where I’m at, without calculating how it could be better.
So, practicing Joy as Wonder means approaching Joy as a very particular way of noticing.
JUDGING LESS…
I want to practice experiencing without expectation, without comparison.
TAKING IN MORE…
I want to slow down and absorb more… see more, hear more, generally allow more sensation. I want to allow the sensations of my daily life to become novel again.
Like remembering that I have hands, this year I’ll be making the familiar delightfully unfamiliar.
That means when I hear Stan Getz’s Voices album, or Jacob Banks’ Slow Up, I want to listen to them like it’s my first time.
I want to walk down my street with the proud newness of it being my street – dog crap, and all… Seriously, the day I went to view my now apartment, there was a huge poop right in front of the entryway.
More spontaneous dance sessions in the living room, like it’s 2021 and there’s no place to be but next to a cheese plate in my sweats.
Joy as motivation
Joy for me is also about being lit up from the inside.
It’s feeling compelled from within.
I’ve been realizing that the good-feels have been creeping up as a theme for some time now. As I look back over my past blogs, I’m consistently thinking about what I want to run towards (the good stuff), rather than run away from (the stuff that feels bad).
So, for me, being fueled by joy means being intrinsically motivated.
In that, I want to be more conscious of what’s really driving me, and ask myself “why” more often.
Why am I doing this?
I want to own my motivations – even, and especially, if my motivation is “just because it sounds fun!”
There are times that I’ve done things out of a self-imposed sense of obligation to something or someone that completely takes my desires out of the equation, and I’ve often gone into those situations… with a bad attitude – gasp.
In those instances, I feel I don’t have any choice or control, and I end up feeling the opposite of joy.
Going forward, I want to either change the way I approach these situations, or allow myself to back away. If I can’t say and own why I’m doing something, why would I do it?
I was talking to friends about this the other evening, and we agreed that this isn’t about not doing things that we’d rather not, like household chores. This is such an easy, and clear example – we clean our homes because of the benefits we derive from a clean space.
For me, that is the calm I feel smelling like fresh laundry, sitting on the couch amid fluffed pillows, a glass of wine in front of me on an uncluttered table. I mean, this seems obvious – most of us would rather be a featured AD home than on an episode of Hoarders.
The point is, doing something we don’t really want to do in the moment, like cleaning, becomes a choiceless choice when we have a bigger motivation in mind.
And, for me, I can be less salty about doing the things I’d rather put off if I think about what’s on the other end of doing them… I can even choose to enjoy the journey as I hold that end point in mind.
So, this year, Joy is choosing my choices with motivated intention.
Notice I say motivations instead of “goals” or “objectives”… That’s because, part one, I’m thinking of Joy as a state of experiencing the world rather than an objective.
Joy as action, as doing and being, rather than as something I possess.
I’m curious what Joy is to others.
I’m curious to know what brings you joy…
IN PRACTICE…
One of the reasons I sat on this post for so long is I had a long anticipated bike trip in Italy at the beginning of September… I knew that it was going to be Joy in action, and I wanted to include that here.
Essentially, about 15 of us spent 6 days, biking over 200km from just outside of Milan to Lake Como. Beer tasting, biking, and beautiful landscapes – what’s not to love?
I, wisely, opted for an electric bike (because, hills), which fell on me enough to leave bruises I’m still nursing. I take these as persitent souvenirs of a very good week.
I have my old Chicago neighbors, Sarah and Jeremy (plus a group of awesome friends), and beercycling.com to thank for an amazing adventure. 10 out of 10 would do it again!
I also got B-1 French certified in July (it was a whole thing), and went with friends to Saint-Malo in the Brittany region, in August.
Up on the English Channel (La Manche to the French), Saint-Malo is the setting for the town seiged in All the Light We Cannot See. It was beautiful, and reminded me of growing up in the PNW.
Also, they’re known for caramel beurre salé galettes, and kouign-amann. They must be eaten.
Thank you, Clara, for making such a fun weekend happen!
Enough yapping. I’ll let the joy speak for itself…
2 Responses
Happy belated my friend! So happy to see your joy! Miss you terribly!
💕💕💕