25. 10. 2025
I had planned to post this blog a month ago, but it just wasn’t quite right… I also took a quick trip back to the US for a wedding – Congratulations Crystal and James!!!
Still thinking about being back a bit, more to come…
How’d I get here?
I’ve been asked what brought about my move to France more times than I can count – and I’ve been asking myself the same thing. I mean, I realize my stock answer of “It was time” glosses over a lot.
While not complicated, it is much more involved than just a divine revelation or running from the current situation in the US, though I have to say the timing was pretty good.
. . .
The thing is, a year ago I was in limbo.
I’d left my company – a huge part of my life and identity – two months prior, and was coming to realize that jumping back into a corporate role just didn’t feel right. In fact, the idea of it was giving me a distinct visceral reaction – it made me nauseous.
I decided to take a quick trip to France, just to clear my head – at the time I had absolutely no intention of even considering a move. The trip didn’t change that, but I did come back with a deeper understanding of my need to rest and wait for inspiration…
That trip to France – a pause that I was learning to allow myself to lean into without the guilt of what I thought I “should” be doing – put me in a space to be open to the idea that there might be a broader realm of opportunities available to me.
… and that openness allowed me to take the small step from idea to reality.
I say small step because, although in the decisive moment when I said I was moving it was like a switch had flipped, the reality is that I’d been preparing for this for a very long time… I just didn’t know it when it was happening.
. . .
This was the story the whole time…
I want to share some broad plotlines that compelled me in the direction of my latest chapter. I’m hoping that doing so might help you reflect on your own through-line.
With the clarity of hindsight, I now can see the path I was on, and how all along I was building the knowledge and ability to do this…
For example, I didn’t decide I was moving to France, and then start learning French. It started in high school, and I somehow just kept it simmering in the background over the years.
I found myself getting more serious about learning the language in the past few years – taking a class, listening to French podcasts and music, practicing daily – all well before I knew I’d be embarking on this adventure so quickly.
More importantly, I have had practice making big moves that, looking back, kind of confound my image of myself as a chicken.
This is important: I’m not someone who does things on impulse or enjoys jumping into uncertainty, no matter how much it might look like it.
I have a deep appreciation for stability. And, yet…
I moved to Portland with a duffle bag and no place to stay – thank you Marissa for taking me in that first night!
At the age of 34, I left an established career to become an education historian.
At the age of 36 I moved across the country to Illinois, away from everyone and everything I’d known, to continue my studies.
After all of that, I turned away from academia to return to a corporate path in sales. A pragmatic decision on its face, but it was in fact another huge life turning point.
It could be that I’m far more adventurous (untethered?) than I think I am, but this move was honestly a long time in the making.
Big picture, looking back at my history, I can see that the details of my daily life – my mistakes, my challenges, the half-truths I’ve believed about myself, even my successes – don’t tell the full story about how I got here.
The story is in what drove me, the lessons I learned, what I came to know about what I want and don’t want. The point has always been, well, the point behind the circumstances that have directed my path and put me here, now.
I’ll add that, as can happen with people, my relationship with my way of life in the US had changed – it had run its course, and we were no longer a fit. I’ll be writing more about this at another time when I talk about why the move.
A little side story… bear with me
In grad school I attended a dissertation defense for a classmate. For those who don’t know, this is pretty much a culminating oral presentation and justification of your work in front of a panel of advisors.
Anyway, it didn’t go well for this particular candidate.
One summary comment has stuck with me to this day: “Everything you have in your footnotes should be in the body, and everything in the body should be in the footnotes.”
Subtext: This thing is upside down.
OUCH!
Okay, for those not academically inclined, a footnote is a short citation / commentary at the bottom of a page that a reader can reference for evidence and more context. It’s a way to back up claims and add to the case without taking the whole narrative on a meandering series of asides – see this blog as an illustration of how doing so can muddle the point…
I’m not even going to get into how telling that comment was, highlighting that the entire panel clearly had shirked their responsibility in guiding this student. She should have never been up there defending her work if that was the sentiment…
BUT – we can learn about something more than terrible mentorship from it.
The story is there, it might just have been relegated to the footnotes…
Huh?
The thread that connects the happenings in our lives can be so subtle that it feels like an aside. What if what we’ve been focusing on as the story is nothing more than the supporting examples, the evidence?
For me, looking back on my path, the through-line, though squiggly, seems pretty clear. The result itself was never the point, pursuing a vision for how I believe my life should feel – interesting and expansive – has been.
I know I’m not the only one.
One thing about moving to France and the folks I’ve met here is that it’s something of a petri dish – there’s a certain kind of person who has made this move, or for whom this move is imminent.
I’ve met so many American expats who’ve moved in the past two years or less, and there has been a recent flow of many more exploring where they plan to move to within the next year.
This is an actual trend: In 2024, over 13,000 Americans received their first French residency cards – an increase of 5% from the previous year. – Blacktower –
But, this isn’t about France, or anyplace at all – it’s about what’s bringing them to France.
I’ve found that the folks that have moved here, and those I’ve met who are so close to making that leap, want a specific feeling for their lives. It’s a collection of folks that have decided to consciously foreground their broader narrative and choose based on that.
Many of these folks have worked very hard… They’ve given most of their lives to their families, their careers, or both. Many have faced extreme hardships that have rocked what they thought their lives would be.
They’re doing this for themselves, and for themselves alone.
They’ve recognized the bigger story of their lives rather than getting bogged down in the details of all of the sacrifices they’ve made. Those circumstances haven’t defined their plotline, they’re just the situations that propelled them here.
To be clear, this isn’t a lecture – it’s encouragement.
Over the years, I’ve had many folks talk with me about their path, about what excites them. When you see folks lit up, it’s difficult to imagine them living their lives in any other way. Think about when you’re around someone who’s good at something, who’s excited, who’s in the zone… It’s inspiring!
Selfishly, I like to watch people living out their inspiring stories because I benefit from that.
Yes, people like You inspire me.
Your real story isn’t necessarily what you’ve been focusing on – the things you’re doing on the daily – it’s in the underlying desire that your doings have in common.
When we stop meandering in our side-plots and look at the choices we’ve made that have kept the story moving forward, the underlying theme can emerge.
We just gotta zoom out a bit to put it together.
I wrote the below about twenty years ago – yikes! It’s strange for me to share it, as I’ve always written these things about myself, for myself… but I think it fits here.
Finding yourself different, somehow, than what you’ve thought yourself to be
Thinking of yourself as one thing, and then waking one day to see you’re not quite that… seeing yourself living a life you don’t entirely recognize
These are growing pains
This is you squeezing up against the edges of your old story.
Most importantly, this is you realizing that the desires and goals you have neglected or forgotten are not relics of a past life, but that you’ve been carrying them with you all along
It is not that you have changed, but that you have not.
But – you are trying…
You are busting at the seams
You are remembering you
You are looking around and seeing where you are, and reconnecting with who you want to be
This is more than just your story
It is your plotline
It is the prose that outlines how you came to be where and what you are
It is the poetry that describes who you can become
And your pages are begging to be read so that the next line can be written with context and creativity
You are facing the uncomfortable task of embracing all that has come as a necessary prologue to what is to come
You are figuring out how to gracefully slide onto the blank page, with a silly grin on your face
Okay good people, are you with me?
To sum it up, what you do, or have done – your resumé – is the footnote. It’s just the supporting evidence for your broader narrative.
The story is in the answer to the question, What’s driving you?
Whatever your thing is, you probably already know it – it’s the first idea that jumped into your mind and you dismissed as silly or irresponsible…
Maybe instead of disregarding what you want, just pause and let it be the main plotline for a moment.
Completely free of history or circumstances.
Reflect on what it is that lights you up about what you want, and think back to how that theme has consistently shown up – maybe even driven big decisions – along your path.
I’m tempted to say that you may surprise yourself, but I think what you’ll come to is actually not that surprising.
If you want to know how I got here logistically, I’m happy to chat!
At some point I do plan on talking about the cost of a move like this, and go through my budget – so exciting!
I’ve also been fortunate to connect with folks that helped me know what steps to take to get my visa and get started in France – I’ve mentioned them before: Baguette Bound.
They are helping so many folks, and the thing I like the best is that they talk not just about what to do, but what it’s like to do it… I think the mystery about the unknown of it all – all of the scary what-ifs – is what can turn people off from making a move like this.
BB understands that, and they share everything they’ve learned – mistakes and all – to help demystify the process and show folks that they can do it.
4 Responses
Lovely! Miss you! 💜
💕 Our big time of year is approaching – I’ll be thinking about you when I force folks to say what they’re thankful for this year, haha!
I can already say—grateful for you!!🎃💓 Thanks for sharing your plot line with us. It’s always a great read.
💕