01 . 05 . 2025
Sacre merde tout le monde!
I made it.
I’m going to save the editorializing for the end this time – such an adventure to share about the transition.
It all started on a Friday…
The Friday before THE Monday I was due to fly out. I was somehow still knee deep in getting everything out of my old place – So. Much. Crap. Day after day of juggling, cleaning, packing, my muscles aching, cats… I was ready to just be done.
Cats. I’ve mentioned my beefcake cat, Vinnie, who was dieting for the trip – there’s another, scragglier one, Chuck Norris. So, yes, I’m the genius that decides to move across an ocean with two cats.
Anyway, the point is that to travel they needed special papers issued by the USDA, and the whole process needs to all happen within a VERY tight timeline (10 days). I’d done my part to the T, but foreboding set in as the passes hadn’t been released from the USDA by Thursday (a week after the obligatory appointment), and they’re closed on the weekend.
Still, I sat on it, trusting that my vet had it in hand – they know what they’re doing, right?
Jump forward through Friday and a fitful night’s sleep later, I get the call from the vet Saturday morning. Exactly as I’d expected, there had been an issue, the USDA hadn’t updated the file, and they were not going to get the certificates overnighted to me in time for our flight on Monday.
Ugh!
Jump to Wednesday, after a couple of days of changing flights, anxious phone calls, and desperate emails, about a hundred more trips up and down stairs with heavy stuff – cat certificates in hand…
Ready to fly!
…out of a Chicago thunderstorm that delayed our flight by two hours. THE two hours allotted for our layover in Paris. At this point the cats have been in their carriers for over twelve hours, and all of us (me, my friend who joined to help me on this harrowing voyage, Chuck and Vinnie) are running on shabby plane sleep – it’s basically 3 am Chicago time.
We missed our connection to Bordeaux.
UGH.
Fortunately, the belief that some people have about the French being unfriendly and snobby is pretty far off the mark. They got us on the next flight just a couple of hours later, no problem and with a smile. We got food and wine. The cats ignored the kibble I dropped in their carriers.
Jump to Bordeaux, exhausted with kitties in tow… annnd the place I’d booked as our first home base left a bit to be desired – actually, A Lot.
After unpacking the cats, I tried to make the best of it by laying down to rest… was just about to fall asleep when there was an unexpected noise that pet owners and parents would recognize as worth investigating. Turns out there were a couple of large holes in the bathroom wall…
… and Vinnie had GONE INTO THE WALL.
………………………….UGHHH…
Anyone who’s met these cats would have, without hesitation, taken odds on Chuck being the culprit, but it’s good to see Vinnie expanding his repertoire of shenanigans. He refused to come out until he was good and ready..
Fun fact, the French word for hole is “trou.”
Sooo, I’m not going to detail what ensued over the next twenty-four-ish hours, but I will share that it involved a lot of customer service, booked and canceled stays, chanting to myself about how capable I am, mad internet skills, an Uber, and ultimately a(nother) new start in a different location.
Clearly, the touchdown didn’t quite match up to the vision I’d had of napping and then basking in the cheese and wine glow of my new home.
I’ll just overlay all of this with the fact that my shipping company, after having picked up the seriously edited remainder of my earthly belongings, came back with a cost significantly higher than they or their competitors had quoted me.
Ugh – C’mon, man.
So. I’m moving back.
JK!
Looking back at the last post – Challenging, Not Hard – this was that.
It was like everything was thrown at me right when I could see the finish line, but it wasn’t like I was going to stop moving forward – I just came in crawling rather than running.
Bigger picture, I’ve gotten two very important takeaways from this final “dash.”
1. Put Yourself First and Don’t Be So Damned Nice
I’m learning to listen to myself and be okay with calling things out before they become an issue rather than staying silent to save others’ feelings, and then dealing with the fallout.
– I could, and should, have contacted the vet that Friday morning (or even sooner) when I started to feel concerned about having no update. This is my move with my cats, not theirs.
Instead, I didn’t want to seem overbearing or as if I didn’t trust them. That didn’t work out so great for me in the end.
– I agonized over whether I should tough out the first Airbnb as soon as I walked in the door, and especially after Wall-Gate. The host was nice… he’d put up a shower curtain just for me.
WTF Alisha??? The bathroom was… I don’t even have the right vocabulary for what it was, and I have a huge vocabulary. It weren’t good.
I created a lot of unnecessary angst for myself trying to make a decision based on the host’s feelings, not my own.
– The shipping company? Let’s just say that after my 20ish years working in some kind of sales capacity, I knew better when he gave me such a lowball quote so quickly. All on me for cheaping out on myself.
At the end of the day, I’m a kind and trusting person – I prefer to see the best in people and situations. This is a conscious choice.
It’s also something that others have taken for weakness. It has meant that my needs only get met after folks have way overstepped my boundaries and I sound the alarm.
So, I’m working to embrace a new mantra:
“Those who mind
don’t matter,
and those who matter
don’t mind.”
Advocating for oneself doesn’t mean being rude or unkind. If anyone takes my looking out for myself as a personal slight, it’s their problem, not mine. In fact, failing to ensure my own needs are taken care of means being unkind to myself – it means letting myself down.*
This whole journey is about moving toward what is best for me and my fulfillment. I am obligated to honor that in the small ways as much as I’m working toward it in a big way.
Luckily for me, the French are Very good at not yielding their own truth to protect others – It’s okay to disagree and say so, nothing personal. Here, not speaking up, not having a considered point of view makes one uninteresting and inauthentic.
I’m here for it.
Alors…
2. People, I totally belong here!
Folks. You’re probably like, “What the hell??? So was this whole move a smoking crater of an idea? You must be having doubts…”
Not. A. Single. One.
It would be disturbing how normal I feel here, but I’m too comfortable to be disturbed. I can’t describe it, but I’ve not experienced the awe that I expected to feel once I reached this side – in the best possible way.
It feels as if being here is not some feat, but a mere fact – kind of like, “of course you’re here. Where else would you be?”
Folks here have been so kind, and I’m proud to say that not only do they address me in French, but most don’t automatically change to English when I start speaking. I’m far from fluent, but they’re willing to muddle through with me if I’m up for it. They even correct me, which is a compliment – they think I have potential!
Pretty sure I’m going to fit in.
*Right after writing this one, I wasn’t sure if it was a good idea to post it, but the next day I saw a video about letting yourself down from a Youtuber I just started following.
À la prochaine!
22 Responses
And now time for the fun bit! I feel you on the just being straightforward about your needs. Also a hard one for me.
From over here still nothing but impressed, jealous, and proud of you for getting after something you wanted like that.
Can’t wait to have you here!
Look at you… the little girl I rode on my bike in my basket has grown up. I am so proud of you and the strong woman you have become.
Life doesn’t always go the way we think it should and the struggles are difficult. I am so glad the God uses our struggles to prepare us for our futures.
I love you Sis, I hope to see you soon.❤️❤️
Sis 💕
So happy for you and love following along! Thanks for sharing and I’m glad you’re “home”! Sigh
Yay! Bet you’re glad you coudln’t make the trip 😅
What a boss move, Alisha!!
It’s so much easier said than done to advocate for yourself. Thanks for sharing and being so transparent. I’m super proud and happy for you – there’s nothing like that feeling of authentically belonging. I can’t wait to hear more about you thriving in Paris ✨
Thinking about you friend ❤️
Despite the introductory speedbumps and Vinnie’s thoughtfulness to throw extra fun into the mix, I can’t wait for the next post. I love that you are feeling you are exactly where you’re supposed to be! And, selfishly, I can’t wait to visit my French friend in her new natural habitat!
We are going to have So Much Fun!
Love the update. Congrats on being brave and pushing through to this new adventure!
Thanks, Sherritt!
Such a fun read to hear about your adventures in traveling and settling in! How gratifying to feel and know that you are right at home in your new environment. That’s all that really matters! Excited to continue following your blog posts! Go get ‘em, my friend!
Thanks, Janelle!
“Here, not speaking up, not having a considered point of view makes one uninteresting and inauthentic.” Ooooo! What a great perspective!
You know I’m also working on this myself. It gets easier, and it is so rewarding to reclaim oneself. (or for some of us claim ourselves in the first place!)
I’m also so happy to hear how naturally you are settling in!! ❤️
Ooh, “reclaim oneself” – I like that!
They wouldn’t be adventures without a few bumps along the way 😅 thank you for always being one of my role models on handling challenges like a boss and living authentically. I’m in awe of you and this epic move and can’t wait for the next installment 🙂
Thank You for always listening and acknowledging the bumps. It definitely shortens the freak-out portion of the adventure 😅
I love that you are home! Can’t wait to visit you and enjoy the culture there too. So happy for you.
Friend! Watching you 💕
Cheers my friend to the first chapter of your book! The first pages have me holding my breath with anticipation! So proud of you! Can’t wait to read more and of course visit you! ❤️🙌🥂
Now you have a base for that make-up trip! 🥂